Heard outside the school gates

Little Year 7 boy leaves the school gates.

Met by his older sister (?) in grey, white and gold matching hoodie and tracksuit, big hoop earings, muffin top, Croydon facelift, aged perhaps 17.

Sister: Y'aright!?

Boy: I got a merit today!

Sister: You're a right little geek! Well done! You gonna become a proper bod then?

Boy: (shrugging off her pinch to his cheek) No!

Sister: (to her mate) He makes me laugh!

She takes out a key.

Sister: Now listen, you've gotta take this key and let yourself in yourself today. Don't fucking lose this key cos I'm trusting you with my life. I've gotta go to the pub. When Mum comes home you have to fucking tell her that I brought you home first before I left, but me and Stacy have to go to the pub now so you make sure you go straight home yourself now, OK?

Boy: OK.

Sister: There's a sandwich in the fridge. Oh, and don't open the door to anyone, OK?

Boy: OK.

Sister: Give us a kiss then. (Hands him the key and walks off with her mate.) He makes me laugh!