Illogic

SH: Sir, did you watch loads of French TV over half-term?

Me: No. I don't have French TV at home. I watched some films though.

SH: But Sir, didn't you watch the French Big Brother?

Me: No. It's not very good.

SH: Innit tho. But, Sir, isn't it, like, the same as English Big Brother, but, like, with subtitles?

Not the Royal Geographic Society then

Year 8's are happily labelling a map of Great Britain.

Me: How many countries in the United Kingdom?
LM: 3.
Me: What are they?
LM: Ireland, England.....um.....the Midlands?
Me: Not quite - where's Scotland and Wales? What about Northern Ireland?
LM: Oh yeah! I've heard of there! It's near Glasgow, innit!
A few minutes later.
LM: (laughing) Sir, M's so dumb!!! He reckons, yeah, that London is in WALES?!!?
Me: What do you mean? [surely no-one here is actually that ignorant?!]
LM: He's put London right at the top of the map!