Summer Haiku

How did I survive

coming, leaving in the dark?

I love the sunlight.

Monsieur est plus rapide que les garçons de la classe.

I'm teaching Form a topic called 'La Santé' and under the tenuous link of healthy living I took my Form out of the French class and onto the school playground and we did some running. First I split them into two relay teams and they raced each other. Then when they had finished I raced some of the fast boys across the length of the playground and beat them all. It looked something like this:

I admit the amount of French learning was minimal at the time, the 'intensity' of the lesson somewhat low, but I think it's worth it. Firstly, it's good to show a relaxed side to the class that they don't always see in the classroom. Secondly, it's an experience that I can bring back into the classroom to illustrate many different aspects of grammar:

1) Past tense (Monsieur a gagné)

2) Imperatives ("Cours!"/"Allez!"/"Arretez!")

3) Comparatives (Monsieur est plus rapide que les garçons de la classe.)

Finally, Sports Day is coming up on Friday and this lesson was of immense value in sorting out what our Form relay team will look like.

Slaves to the machines

MAYDAY!

The computers were broken this week. Several types of panic ensued. 

Firstly, those teachers that actually need the computers for their classes (ICT and Graphics teachers for example) weren't able to teach.

Secondly, those teachers that are lazy and just let their classes play games on the computers all had to actually come to terms with restless kids unaccustomed to doing any work.

Thirdly, and this is where I'd classify myself, teachers were unable to access their resources for lessons. The move towards schools saturated with hi-tec gadgetry is a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, an Interactive Whiteboard is a wonderful resource tool for engaging students in whatever you're teaching them. It has the added benefit of saving the teacher the worry of turning his or her back on the class in order to write something up on the board since all can be projected at the flick of a switch. On the other hand, like this week, lessons end up relying on it, so when a technological glitch of any severity occurs, teachers have to innovate without a key resource!

No more showing clips of cool French things - like this (to teach 'il chante') or this (to teach 'il monte') - no more games of Splat the Board, Hangman or Bingo; no more legible fonts on colourful Powerpoint slides. 

Instead it was a week of textbooks, exercise books and match up cards....

....and it was No Bad Thing! I was happy over-all for how the classes behaved, albeit it worried that the computers breaking down would mean a loss of all my hard work and resources completed to date.

I needn't have worried. The computers are up and running and I can go back to showing my students YouTube clips all lesson.

Hyperchouette!

Allaaaaiii, let's be positive, fam!

So here are some good things that've gone down this term:

1) My year 7 footy team reached the cup final.
2) I became a form tutor, which I love doing.
3) I can plan my lesson much faster.
4) I've got better at working out why my lessons suck when they suck.
5) I've completed 2/3 of my first year of teaching !!!!!
6) I've realised that I'm good at talking to children and teenagers.
7) I've made some more friends among the other staff.

I'm sure there are other positives, but these spring to mind like a spring chicken on a springboard.

Yep, looking back on them, they're pretty much in some sort of 'order of priorities'.

Being a linguist, I've also made sure to acquire as much new language as possible. Here are a few words and phrases which I've learned over the last few months:

wasteman (noun) - generic derogatory term, non-gender specific although mostly used to insult boys. Roughly equivalent to what I used to call a chief in primary school. Year 7s think it's the worst insult ever invented and get really offended. All the other year-groups seem to use it willy-nilly. E.g.: "Abdi is a wasteman"; "You're such a wasteman, give me my Red Bull back."

allaaaaiii (verb, imperative) - a corruption of 'allow', meaning 'let it be' or 'permit me'. Also frequently used to express outrage or disbelief. E.g. "I want to sit there!"/"Allaaaaiii, I sat their first!"

Man (noun) - can replace any singular pronoun, be it first person, second person or third. Often used to replace a first or second person, thereby talking about oneself or one's interlocutor in the third person. E.g. "Man got ber homework today - a whole worksheet!"/"Shush! Man [i.e. 'you'] tinks he got ber homework! Ha! Man [i.e. 'me, on the other hand'] got ber courseworks to do! Dem courseworks are worse than the homeworks, bluuuuud!"

hype (verb) - to talk, to get excited, to chatter excitedly, to mouth off at someone. E.g. "He got a merit for French and he was ber hypin' at us but then Sir realised he made a mistake and took the merit away and he had to jam his hype, yagetmeh blud."

ber (adjective/adverb) - expression of quantity meaning 'lots of ', 'much', 'many'. Also used for emphasis. E.g. "Allaaaaiiii, I've got ber friends on Facebook!"/"Nah, mate, I've got ber more friends than you." or "Sir is ber safe!" or "Man got ber sim-cards and dem ber cheap - £5!"

fam (noun) - friends, family, 'mate'. E.g. "Nah listen, fam, I want beans with my chips, but no fish."

There are far more slang words too but these that I've included are a few from off the top of my head. Many of the words are Caribbean in origin, but all the children use them irrespective of race or background. I'd really like to do a big send up of it all - maybe a staff revue or something of that nature where the teachers have the opportunity to make fun of the students. They are so easy to caricature and immitate and this is in no small way due to their language and the way they choose to express themselves.

It makes for excellent comedy material (as Vicky Pollard and Lauren have shown us all already) when a social group has such a distinctive linguistic trait!