Back to School

The last 7 weeks of the school year began today after a blissfully sunny half term.

BH decided that French was not what he wanted on his first day back in school. When I gave him a glue stick he started smearing it all over his friend's desk when his friend was allowed out to go to the toilet.

When I pointed out to BH that he should probably not be doing that, he shouted, "suck it, man, suck off!"

While I was trying to work out what that meant by this, he managed to storm out and leave the classroom in a huff. I was pleased that the rest of the class managed to carry on working without too much disruption.

Back to school, eh? Two detentions doled out already (the second to fat 11 year old ES who rocked up to school eating a pasta salad - how cosmopolitan! - at 10am and didn't know which lesson to go to).

Time for some sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Ernst Gräfenberg

Year 9 class.

A (girl): What's a G-spot?!

MM (boy): Hurrrgh hurrrgh.

A: Shuttup - what is it? Stop talking about it!

J (girl): It's a thing girls have. It's here. (pointing at the middle of her stomach).

A: What does it do?

J: Not much, I dunno.

D (boy): It's cos girls don't have a...

Me: Excuse me! Do we have to discuss this now? Get back to your work.

A: But SIIIIR! I don't know what a G-spot is....

Me: Stop shouting out 'G-spot'!

A: But Sir! Just tell me! The boys keep talking about it and I don't know what it is! (chanting) G-spot! G-spot! G-sp--

Me: Sit back down and be quiet. I don't want to have to call home and repeat what you've been shouting about in my class down the phone to whoever's at home!

A: It's fine, Sir, my mum doesn't know what her G-spot is either!

How do I even get into these situations! I'm trying to avoid the topic and it leads to this!